


Pretending

by Ryuu_No_Kami



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 10:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17262254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuu_No_Kami/pseuds/Ryuu_No_Kami
Summary: Because how hard can it be to pretend you're not falling for your pretend girlfriend?





	Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> So I was asked to put some of my little ficlets I posted on FanFiction here, so here you go.
> 
> This was my second Persona fic, and probably the one I am most proud of. Hopefully, my writing style didn't suck too bad when I wrote this some odd months ago. Kind of hard to make changes to something that's already somewhere else...
> 
> Enjoy!

Ren lands on his bed with an unsatisfying  _thump_ , face first, his head almost hitting the window ledge. He remains still for several minutes, listening to the rain beat down on the window above him. He only shifts his body when he realizes how uncomfortable he is, his legs throbbing from the awkward angle dangling off the bed.

He feels Morgana jump up next to him once he moves his feet to the bed and places his head into his pillow. He turns his head away from his feline roommate, not willing to talk about what he knows the cat wants to talk about.

"So, what happened to you?"

Ren does not reply. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to have Morgana laugh at him like he imagines he will if he finds out why he is so upset. Unfortunately for him, his friend has claws. And dedication.

"You look like a drowned rat who didn't get the cheese." When he still does not respond, Morgana paws at his head, catching some strands of hair with his claws. The light tug makes him wince, but he grits his teeth to keep his mouth shut.

So, Morgana changes his tactics. "Did someone bully you at school?"

Silence.

"Did Futaba spread all your embarrassing secrets online for the world to see? Did Yusuke draw you as an ugly rat? Did you lose a beef eating challenge to Ryuji and lose money? Did Makoto take you to the gym and kick your-,"

The mere mention of Makoto causes Ren to stiffen slightly, which Morgana catches.

"Ah-ha! I have found the culprit!"

"Just stop, Morgana," he says weakly. It is the first time he speaks since his encounter with said "culprit."

He claws at his head again. "Nope. We are all a team. And in order for our teamwork to be at its peak, I can't have little disputes get in our way!"

Ren turns his head on his pillow so he is facing him, a wide grin on his face. "So, let's discuss your issues with Ryuji then."

Morgana stares back, seemingly in surprise, but then he lowers his eyes and glares in defiance. "We can  _bench_  Ryuji and our team could still function. We can't afford to do the same with you, or Queen!"

Ren rolls his eyes in return, slowly pushing his body up so he is sitting on the bed. "It's nothing… _bad_. Just…not what I expected."

Morgana's tail wags on the bed, his head looking up at Ren, and his eyes demanding him to continue. So he does. "Remember how I told you she asked me to 'pretend' to be her boyfriend so we could investigate her friend's creepy boyfriend?"

Morgana nods.

"Well, I went up to her after school today and asked her when we were going on this 'date', and that's when she told me…" A pause. Ren closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the laughter. "I'm not charming enough yet."

There is silence. Not wanting to open his eyes yet, he begins to think that maybe Morgana will be understanding. Maybe he will sympathize with him. Just as he lets his guard drop, Morgana bursts into laughter, his claws comically scraping the bedsheets.

"Oh my god, Ren, that's the  _best_  thing I have heard all day! And it was a good day!"

Ren grumbles to hide his humiliation and perhaps even some anger. He cannot help the retort that comes out of his mouth. "Oh, because you're  _so_  good at charming Ann that she swoons over you every time you're around."

The laughter stills immediately. "Watch it."

He lets out a groan of frustration. "She told me that her friend won't even go with us if I'm not up to her level. I've been working on this for so long now and I don't know how much more charming I can get! Every time I'm at the diner, I get the Frui-Tea. I've been to the bathhouse so many times, Boss thinks Futaba made me a hologram to use as a layer of skin, and I'm having nightmares about drowning in cosmic size burgers from Big Bang! And if that's not enough, I'm also poor as hell!"

Morgana simply stares back, his jaw open after listening to Ren's rant. The teen huffs as he runs a hand through his hair. "Sorry. I'm just…irritated."

The cat closes his jaw and smiles. "You're frustrated because you aren't charming, or because you can't go on that double date with Makoto?"

Ren's eyes widen, which Morgana seems to take great pleasure in. "W-what?"

He jumps onto Ren's lap and glances up at the boy, a human-like smugness radiating off of him. "You really just want to go on that date. You don't care about your charm!"

Feeling the need to defend himself, Ren shifts his legs so the cat falls on his side onto the bed. "I do care! I was working on this before I became friends with Makoto!"

"Not to this extent!" Morgana fires back. "We've been to café almost every night, or when they are busy, we go across the street to Big Bang! Then you come home and go to the bathhouse!"

Ren grips his head between his hands, almost as if he is hurt by Morgana's words. "Her friend needs help. This guy sounds like a complete asshole."

"What's wrong with how you are now? I think you're plenty charming, and I'm sure Makoto feels the same."

He lifts his head up to look at his friend. "You really think that?"

Morgana tries to cover up his compliment with a jab. "I mean, you're no me, never will be, but I think you're trying too hard. Why don't you just ask Makoto what all you need to do? Maybe she can help!"

Realization dawns on Ren. And he begins to make a plan.

-0-

The class bell rings, signaling the end of the long school day. Ren remains in his seat, staring out the window as the other students begin to exit the classroom. Once alone, he stands and stretches before he steps out into the hallway. He passes Ryuji standing in his usual spot by the staircase, but the boy is too preoccupied with something on his phone to notice him. He rushes up the stairs and down the hall until he finds himself face to face with the student council room door. He knocks quickly before he loses his nerve.

He hears a quiet "come in," before he slides the door open and steps inside, closing the door behind him.

"Working hard, or hardly working?" he asks, seeing that Makoto has yet to look up at him. He gets the reaction he wants; she stops instantly in her writing, stiffens, then quickly shoots her head up to address him.

"R-Ren? Wh-what are you doing here?"

He takes the seat across from her. He plants his elbow on the table and places his head into his palm while he smiles his most "charming" smile. "I came to see my  _girlfriend_."

The way she blushes at his comment leaves him suppressing laughter.  _She's so cute_. "We-we're only pretending to go out. I-I, um, also haven't heard anything from Eiko, if that's what you're here about."

He continues to smile at her. "I'm actually here to see you."

He swears that her face darkens. His smile grows wider and his heart crashes loudly against his ribcage. "O-Oh?" She manages to stutter, reaching up to place a stand of hair behind her ear. "What did you need?"

He wonders then how he manages to appear so calm and collected on the outside while his insides are a burning mess. "Well, I figured since you think that Eiko doesn't think I am 'good enough' to go on the double date, that we go out and practice by ourselves."

There is a deadly silence in which Ren is positive she can hear his erratic heartbeat. Or maybe she's worrying about her own, if the expression on her face is any indicator.

Her response comes out as a quiet shriek. "Wh- _what?!_ "

He laughs because he is nervous. She did not answer his request with a flat-out rejection, but she did not say yes. "We need to get better, so what do we do? We practice. So, come on," he stands up and takes a few steps towards the door before he turns around and offers her his hand. "Let's go study dating. Together."

His hand remains in the air longer than he wants. Just as he lets it fall, she lowers her head and slowly slides her seat back. After another second, she stands and faces him. "I guess it would prove beneficial for us to be knowledgeable about the process, or we will never be able to help Eiko."

A small stab at his heart, but he ignores it. He smiles as she gathers her things into her bag before placing the straps over her shoulders. They did always say the first step is the hardest.

And somewhere in his subconscious: he levels up.

-0-

He firsts takes Makoto to the diner. Nothing too special, to avoid any potential discomfort. He did not have the courage to hold her hand outside of school travelling to Shibuya, so he plans on moving that step to their next date. Isn't that something that couples do? His usual table is open, so he ushers her into her seat before coming to sit down next to her. He feels her body tense next to him, which he assumes is a good thing, because she's nervous, too?

He does not dwell on it for too long before the waitress, who knows him by now, approaches the table. "Hello again, Ren-kun! The usual?"

He nods in affirmation, turning to Makoto and flashing a boyish grin. "I come here a lot."

She scoots a little farther away, and it worries him. "I-I can tell." The waitress is all smiles while she waits for Makoto's order. She covers up her embarrassment and says, "I'll take the same, then."

Ren laughs softly as the waitress bounces away. "You don't even know what I'm getting. Adventurous. I like that."

He can practically feel the heat from Makoto's blush. "W-well, I-I'm sure if I don't like it, you can have it."

He boldly throws an arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer to him. She is rigid against him, which causes him to smirk. "You need to work on your acting. If this is how nervous you're going to be on our double date, it will never fly with them."

He hurts his own heart at his words, but they work for her. She slowly relaxes under him, placing both of her hands on her skirt. "You're right."

And then it was the return of the awkward silence. He did some investigating on his own, like topics to broach in this kind of situation, but reading and actually  _experiencing_  were two different things. Every time he opens his mouth, the words die in his throat. Maybe putting an arm around one's crush is  _not_  the best way to begin a date.

"So," she starts, pulling him from his dilemma. "What would real couples talk about on a date?"

He does not like the implication she makes about not being a  _real_  couple, but it does help relieve some tension. He is finally able to find his voice. "What are some of your likes?"

He feels her laugh and she sits a little taller in her seat. "I thought you would know that by now."

He rubs the back of his head with his free hand. "Well, how about you pretend that I don't?"

She remains quiet for a moment, contemplating, then she nods. "Well, I enjoy studying, reading, action films, touching up on my aikido."

He feigns surprise. "Oh man, so if I ever make you angry, you can destroy me?"

"That's right." She looks over at him. "I've been trained well."

He cannot tell whether he forces his fearful expression, or if it's real. "What about your dislikes?"

She leans her back against him. "You're not going to answer?"

He offers a small smile, but she does not see it. He whispers close to her, "If you promise not to tell, I don't like running. Ryuji is too good at it and I hate the feeling of my lungs burning."

She puts her hands up to her lips as if to stifle her laugh. "I won't tell him you said that." Her giggles send a shiver down his spine. "But I meant about your likes. I answered, so now it's your turn."

He opens his mouth to reply just as the waitress comes to their table with their order. "Here you are, Ren-kun! I hope you and your girlfriend enjoy!"

He cannot help his smile from widening. He turns to face her, lowering his head to be in her line of sight. "Did you hear that? She thinks you're my  _girlfriend_!"

He then turns to his tea, missing the somber look in Makoto's eyes.

-0-

Ren asks Makoto to come to Leblanc after school. In a text message, because he could not physically find her during school. He makes plans for every reaction. If she's willing, but uncomfortable, they will study at a booth. If she's neutral, he will make her his attempt at Sojiro's curry and go from there. If she's excited, he will pass out.

He waits for her at the school gate, hoping that she accepts his offer. It's not like she has never been to Leblanc. And it's not like she has never been alone with him before. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he worries she will bail. Especially since he has been waiting at the gate for over a half hour after school lets out. He waits a few more minutes before his nerves reach their limit and he pulls out his phone.

"I'm sorry, Ren. I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

He looks up from his unsent text and smiles in relief. "I understand that you're busy. I didn't have anything better to do anyway," he lies. He did turn down a request to hang out with Yusuke. Not that people watching at the train station was his thing, but it was oddly entertaining. He shoves his phone into his pocket. "Shall we?"

She nods once and takes her place at his side. She walks a fraction of a pace slower than he does, which he only notices when he tries to "naturally" slide his hand into hers and meets empty air.

"Everything okay?" he asks as he turns his head to look at her. A small pang of…some unpleasant emotion hits his heart. Maybe she does not want to hang out?

He even notices her shuffle to cover up her hesitation. "Oh, no, everything is fine. Just a…long day."

His guilt finally gets the better of him. He turns completely to face her and she almost slams into him. "Makoto, do you want to come back with me? If you don't, I promise you I won't be upset."

Oh, he will, but he will not  _show_  it. The pause that follows drowns him. She holds her left arm in her right hand and looks away. "It's not that, I promise. It's just been a long day."

He suddenly feels like he needs permission to pry. He opens his mouth to do so, but she shakes her head and smiles cheerfully at him. Her eyes however, are a different story. "We need to keep practicing. I still think we are far too inexperienced to be of help right now."

Right. His mission was not to convince her of his  _true_  feelings, but to gain Eiko's confidence. He lets out a sigh, releasing the slight tension around his heart. He then forces a smile of his own while offering his hand. "Well, I don't know about you, but I could eat."

She hesitates for a second before she nods in agreement, but does not take his hand as she makes her way towards the station. It falls at his side before he throws them both into his pockets, trying not to ball them into fists. He stares at her fleeting form. He sighs heavily once more, then follows her before she has a chance to realize he is not beside her.

-0-

There is a rumble of thunder in the distance when they make their transfer at Shibuya Station. It becomes an all-out downpour when they reach Yongen-Jaya. Ren curses inwardly, not having an umbrella with him because who checks the weather before planning a date? Is that even a thing? Is that why he is failing so miserably?

"Well? Did you bring an umbrella?"

He looks at Makoto before he returns his gaze at the pouring rain. Is she going to think less of him now that he has overlooked a minor detail? He wonders for a moment if he should just cancel all together. Oh, but the look of disappoint on Sojiro's face…

Ren directs a smirk at her, which causes her to stare back in wonder. He does not keep her waiting long. He holds up his jacket, although very light, and motions for her to stand next to him.

"I'll keep you dry, my Queen."

She hesitates, which causes his nerves to reemerge. She looks at him, then glances out of the station. "Perhaps we can wait a few minutes to see if the rain lightens up?"

"It might not, you know," he replies, hoping to change her mind. "Or it could get worse."

She brings a hand to her chin, thinking. Then she speaks. "Maybe we should just reschedule. After all, I doubt Eiko is ready to ask us to go on that date right now."

Ren frowns at this. He is quick to respond with, "But you came all this way. And, I'm hungry," he whines like he is a child. She does not find it amusing. "And you're just going to get wet anyway if you go home now."

She moves her gaze to the floor, her hands at her side as if she is nervous to say anything. He speaks up in her silence. "This is a great study exercise. Guys love protecting their girls, from big bad monsters or lots of drops of water. Come on." Then he bends his body so he can stare directly into her eyes. "Please?"

He worries he comes off too pushy, as her expression seems to darken. Did he say something wrong?  _Strike two, Ren. One more and you're done for._

He is quick to recover before she has a chance to walk away. "But we can wait a few minutes. If it doesn't lighten up, I can take you home."

Again, she is silent. While she was never overly talkative, she would at least  _respond_. So he decides he has done something to upset her, and she does not wish to talk about it. Sighing in defeat and feeling his heart sink into his stomach, he runs a hand through his hair.

"Makoto, I'm-,"

"We can wait a few minutes and decide from there."

Her tone leaves no room for argument, and he wants to feel relief. But he feels as if the tension between them is more suffocating than the humidity inside the small station. They sit in awkward silence, Ren too afraid to say anything to damper the mood even more. He prays that Sojiro's cooking makes up for the predicament he finds himself in.

However, the rain does not stop. He chances a look to Makoto, worrying that she's going to say that she's waited long enough, but she is simply staring back into the station. Her face is expressionless, and she seems like she's almost a completely different person. Another stab at his heart. What is he doing  _wrong_? He has too much pride to fully believe it's him…

It couldn't be, right?

"Well, I guess we've waited long enough," she says, pulling him out of whatever dark void he was entering. "But I do believe it would be rude of me to decline an opportunity to enjoy Boss's hospitality." She turns to him, her eyes still lacking life but a smile on her lips. "I guess it's not too far of a walk. A little rain never killed anyone."

He is so overcome with joy that he feels his blood vessels pop in his heart. A huge smile plants itself on his face as a result. It may not be  _quite_  the reason he wants her to come back with him, but she is coming back with him nonetheless. Baby steps.

He stands next to her as he lifts his arms over her head, his jacket creating a small canopy to protect her from the rain. "I run with Ryuji, so I hope I don't leave you behind."

He is extremely pleased when a glint flashes in her eyes and she returns the jab. "I'm sure I will be fine."

They are not fine. Even if the walk/run from the station to Leblanc is a short distance, the rain is unrelenting. Both are soaking wet, and end up more so when they see the sign saying "Closed" and the door is locked. While it takes a frustrating second for Ren to unlock the door, it is more time he is unable to protect Makoto from the storm.

"The hell, Boss?" He greets an empty room, and he wonders where Sojiro is. Makoto stands behind him in surprise as well.

"Is he okay? Did he call you or anything?"

Ren pulls out his phone and attempts to shake the water off of it. He has no messages. "Doesn't look like it." He does see a note on the edge of the bar beside him, which he can make out " _Blame Futaba_ ". He chuckles to himself, then realizes that they are both shivering, their wet clothes mixing with the currently unpleasant air conditioning of the café. He places his phone down on the nearest booth and looks at her.

"Wait right here. I'll go find some towels or something."

Then he stops, his eyes staring out into the slight darkness of the empty room. He is pretty sure that he sees the glow emanating from the light bulb that goes off in his mind.

He sheds his jacket, placing it neatly over the nearest barstool to dry. He then crosses his arms while grabbing the hem of his shirt. Without even thinking about what he is doing or  _who he is with_ , he pulls his shirt over his head and shakes the water out of his hair like a dog.

"Can't be dragging water all over the shop." He turns to her as he wrings out his shirt.

Her reaction is priceless.

He jumps on it. "What?" he asks with a grin, flexing his muscles more than necessary in his task. "You like what you see?"

He holds back a laugh when her eyes grow wider, her blush reaching almost the same color as her eyes. He swears it warms the room by ten degrees.

He settles for a weak laugh, loving every second of her embarrassment. "Let me find you something to dry off with."

Ren hangs his shirt on another chair while he makes his way up the stairs into his room. He grabs a few towels and a change of clothes for himself. He pauses, then smiles and decides to remain shirtless. Makoto is leaning on the booth closest to the door when he returns. She appears to be attempting to regain her lost ground.

He pulls it back out from under her, he hopes, when he throws one of the towels over her head. He feels her stiffen, her hands coming to grab his wrists as he slowly tries to dry her hair. Her grasp tightens, almost to the point he is in pain, so he pulls the towel off her head and drapes it over her shoulders. She tips over from the action and places her hands on his bare chest out of instinct.

He stops breathing. He is pretty sure he is going to die. While he may have been wanting something like this to happen, he had no idea it would be so…nice? Good? Lovely?

Before he can place a word to describe what he is feeling, she pulls away. She does not get far, as he is still holding the towel around her shoulders. He can still feel the strange mixture of temperatures she is giving off. He looks down at her. She looks away.

He braves putting a hand under her chin. She lets him guide her back to him so he can look into her eyes. A genuine smile forms on his face as her eyes search his for a clue as to what the hell he is doing. He doesn't really know himself. All he knows is that it just  _feels right._

They stare at each other for a few seconds, but he cannot resist looking from her eyes to her lips, imagining what it would be like to experience his first kiss with this adorable girl. He does not last much longer before he finds himself leaning in slowly, his heart hammering in his chest and pounding in his ears. Surprisingly, she does not turn away, nor does she seem to reject his advance. It makes him that much more eager.

But he remembers that he is only  _pretending_  to be her boyfriend. That this is only to help him impress a girl and some dude that he was the type of person who could fit in with them. And it hurts. He wants this, more than  _anything_ , but he wants it to be real.

So he dodges the kiss and leans against her ear, hoping that his voice sounds as sturdy as he wishes he was feeling. "I should probably make you something warm to drink. You're freezing."

He pulls away and heads into the kitchen, not wanting to see the expression he could  _feel_  on Makoto's face.

-0-

Ren is beyond happy when Makoto accepts a second dinner date. He decides to go back to square one, especially after the debacle at Leblanc, so that she is not uncomfortable. He does  _not_  need another date to go up in flames. He cannot afford to mess up anymore. He is on thin ice, and he fully intends not to fall into the frigid waters below him.

But Makoto appears to have plans of her own. He walks her back to the station in Shibuya to say their farewells after a pleasant dinner, and she takes him by surprise.

"Would it be okay for me to ask you to escort me home?"

He falls into the freezing waters of his imagination.

He doesn't blink though. "Sure."

He purposely tries to sound neutral, that he is not twelve feet under and someone is burying him with dirt and sand. If she thinks he is nervous, she does not acknowledge it. He follows her to her train, heart hammering as if he was running with Ryuji. He is surely going to die tonight. He knows it.

"Is everything okay, Ren?"

Her voice pulls him back to the present, where he finds she is a few feet ahead of him. When did he stop? When did his subconscious take control of his muscles? Why did it have to act now and not when he could have-

"Yeah, sorry. I thought I recognized someone over there." He points at no one in particular. He offers her a smile as he catches up to her. He naturally throws an arm around her shoulder, saying with a sly smile, "Am I the first guy you're taking home?"

He immediately regrets it. He is supposed to  _not_  act like he's fallen too hard for a girl who only wants to  _pretend_  to be his girlfriend. He retracts his arm a little too quickly, but again, she appears to take no offense.

He does.

"Let's go," she says as she leads the way into the train car. The ride is one of silence. But if Ren can say one thing about it, she is standing much closer to him than he thinks she would. And the train is not full enough to warrant "being too crowded" as an excuse.

When they arrive at their destination, they step off the train and she leads him out of the station. He realizes this is an unfamiliar area, and a part of him worries he will get lost on the way back, as Morgana leaves him alone on "dates". He finds his logic a good enough excuse to part ways with her.

"Well, thank you for coming along for dinner. I'll see you at the next one?"

Her back is to him, as she is in front of him, but when she turns with a smile on her face, he knows he is dead.

_Shit._

"I was hoping you could walk me home? It's not too far. I promise you won't get lost on your way back."

He desperately wants to know where this is coming from. It is not like her to be this forward. But he cannot help but feel a sense of…eagerness?…in her voice. He is not about to be outdone.

"Whatever my Queen asks," he replies with a slight bow, making a promise to himself that he will walk her to her front door and leave. He will not step inside. He cannot. He will die for sure.

The silence strikes again as he follows her down the street, making one right turn before her building stands in front of him. When Makoto does not step inside, or even thank him, he takes the opportunity to say goodbye before he bolts in fear.

"Well, I-uh," he cracks when she looks at him.  _Focus!_ "I'd better be off. It's getting late. Have a good night."

She grabs his wrist before he walks away. "This won't take long."

 _Oh god, what is happening?_ His mind is running a thousand scenarios in his head, many he is okay with. The others…he is also okay with, just not ready for.

His voice comes out a weak whisper. "Oh?"

She does not hold his gaze for long, a familiar red forming on her cheeks. "Eiko asked me today how everything was going."

He rubs the back of his head, something cold landing in the pit of his stomach. "And? What did you tell her?"

She plays with a strand of loose hair, then wraps it behind her ear. "I-I told her everything was going well. We are still learning. But-,"

He holds his breath. Is this how she is going to dump him? "But?"

She is quiet for far too long, and his heart cannot take it. "Look, I know I'm not prime boyfriend material, but if you tell me what to do, I will do better. You want to help your friend. I want to help you." He almost sounds desperate. His next question is one he has been dying to ask for some time, but never found the right moment to do so. "What am I doing wrong?"

A million emotions flash through her eyes, but the nervous expression wins. She ignores his last question. "She-she asked me if-if we had-,"

Her stuttering is mildly cute, but he needs the dread to dissipate before he can say that out loud. He takes some of the pressure off of her by shooting out ideas to fill in the blank.

"Gone to the movies?"

"Huh?"

"Walked each other home?"

"…"

"Exchanged gifts?"

"…"

"Held hands?"

"…Ren…"

"Slept together?"

"She asked if we had kissed yet!" He smirks at her embarrassment, but he is also happy to know that she wasn't planning on dumping him. Even if they weren't really together…

He wants to say something to fluster her more, but thinks better of it, and says, "Well, it is a thing normal couples do." He takes a step towards her. "It would probably do us some good if we practiced." Her eyes widen. He continues, even as his heart is  _begging_  him to stop. "What if they ask us to, and we are so terrible at it? They'll know right away. Then all of this would have been for nothing."

The air grows cold around him, so much so that he brings his hands to his arms. He also feels an immense pressure on his chest.

The feeling that he has  _messed up for the last time_  leaves him as soon as he feels Makoto press into him, carefully grab the back of his neck, and pull him down until his lips collide with hers. He naturally stiffens in surprise, and just as he begins to relax and thank the gods above him, she pulls away.

"Good night, Ren."

She leaves him standing in the street, feeling as though the ground was swallowing him up and he didn't even know.

-0-

"I can't believe you completed the Big Bang challenge. I think  _I'm_ going to be sick."

Ren keeps walking, ignoring Morgana even as the cat shifts in his bag. Sure his stomach is heavy, and he senses a nap coming as soon as he returns home, but his heart is heavier. He has made three attempts to go out with Makoto since she had kissed him. The first time, they had returned to the diner. They had maybe said five words to each other. The second time, he had offered to make her dinner at Leblanc, but she had left before he had even started. She had declined the last time.

He does not want to give up. He may not be asking Makoto to go out again, but he is still doing all he can to increase his charm. Because he is man enough to know by now that the issue is with him. He's not  _charming_ enough! He had been sick of the tea and bathing with old men, thus: the completion of the Big Bang Burger challenge.

It did not help his self-esteem.

In fact, he feels like his charm  _decreases_.

"Oh god, please don't get sick right now. Or I'm going to get sick!"

He slows his pace and decides that his companion needs confirmation that his  _stomach_  is not the problem. "I'll be fine, Morgana. Please," he looks around at the crowded street. "Please keep it down."

Morgana picks up on Ren's tone. "Still not the charmer you need to be, huh?"

Ren ignores him. Thankfully, Morgana gets the message and dives deeper into his bag. This leaves him alone with his thoughts and his brain picking at every little fault. What on earth could he be doing wrong? If after all this time, he  _still_  wasn't charm-level-appropriate for Eiko, then Makoto would need to find someone else. He is tired. He is poor. He is disgusted at the fact he has a medal congratulating him on completing a burger challenge.

All of this, and he gets a broken heart.

Maybe he is not Makoto's type. Maybe it really is the pressure from Eiko that is causing the tension. But again, if that was the case, she should tell him off and find someone else. Because that's why she was agreeing to "go out" with him.  _For Eiko._

It did not explain why she was acting the way she was, though. Maybe there is hope?

"Ohmygosh,  _there_  you are!"

Ren nearly jumps out of his skin as a bright light bounces in front of him. He does not recognize the voice, as his ears are throbbing from the girl's screech.

He recognizes Eiko instantly. "Why haven't we gone on this date yet?! Tsukasa is totally dying to meet my BFF and her BF!"

His mind races and his mouth opens to reply. He cannot help the slight hint of anger that escapes in his tone. "We haven't gone out yet because  _I'm not good enough_."

Eiko shows no offense or disapproval at his tone. "That's a lame excuse!" She places a hand on her hips in defiance. "We have been waiting for like,  _ever_!"

Ren holds back his anger, but his hands curl into fists in his pockets. "I'm not charming enough. Your boyfriend is going to think I'm a sack of shit and I already have the school thinking that. I don't need more people on that train!"

The older girl leans into him with a glare mimicking his own. "Well you're acting like a sack of shit now! Call Makoto! We are going out tonight!"

"No, I'm going home."

She does not allow him to step around her. " _Call her now!_ "

He can contain his anger no longer. "Enough! You clearly told Makoto that I'm not good enough 'boyfriend' material, and now that has put a damper on our friendship! I'm sure your guy is a classy man and I will never be able to amount to him." He is so sarcastic that he tastes a bitterness on the back of his tongue. He cannot stop. "I've worked so hard to be good enough, but now I'm seeing that  _I never will be!_  So leave me alone!"

He is sure the people around him are listening intently to their conversation. He is shouting at a young girl in the evening, in a crowded street no less. He can feel Morgana pushing himself against his back, trying his hardest to calm him down. It doesn't help.

"Woah woah, hot shot. I never told Makoto that! I asked her like, two weeks ago if we were gonna go on this date, and she told me no. Something about how…she was too busy or something stupid."

He feels something prick at his heart, and he wonders how many lives his heart has left. How is he not dead? Is Morgana constantly reviving him? Are those drugs from Takemi  _really_  that good?

"She…you…you actually wanted to  _go_?"

Eiko huffs and rolls her eyes. "I totally wanted to! It's all my bae can even talk about anymore!"

He lets his confusion wash over him. How was it possible that Eiko wanted to go on their planned date, but Makoto did not? He was under the impression for so long that Makoto wanted to go, but he needed to work on impressing their co-daters.

Then it hits him.

Makoto has been  _lying_ to him!

His body races with every emotion known to mankind, pushing by and startling Eiko, but running towards the station too fast to hear her calling out for him to stop.

-0-

Trepidation fills his every fiber as he knocks on the student council door the next day. He has not slept. He was slightly sick from dinner. His heart hurt. His mind kept racing. He may have shed a tear or two, for what, he still cannot pinpoint. All he knows is that he wants answers. Perhaps this was all a misunderstanding. But he wants to  _know_.

He hears Makoto's voice granting him entrance, and it takes all of his strength and courage to step into the room. He has no plan on what to say to her. But he is hurt. He cannot do anything but come right out with it.

"Why did you lie to me?"

Again, he surprises her, but once she overcomes her shock, she does not look up at him. She begins writing on her paper again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I ran into Eiko last night."

She freezes again, and he continues in her silence. "Told me all about how angry she was at me for not going on our double date yet."

He pulls a chair from against the wall and slides it next to her before sitting himself down. She lowers and turns her head slightly so he cannot see her eyes from his angle. However, he is not having it.

"Makoto, if you didn't want to go with me, you should have just told me. You shouldn't have kept leading me on."

She does not move for a long time, but when he blinks, she is throwing her things into her bag and making a mad dash for the door. Thankfully, his reflexes are fast enough to catch her wrist before she can escape.

"Don't. Don't run off now. You had all the time in the world to run off and leave me before. Now, I think you owe me some answers."

She makes several attempts to escape his grasp, but he holds her firmly. Finally, she drops her shoulders and ceases her struggling. However, she does not speak. While holding her wrist, he walks in front of her, an action that causes her to tense once more. She drops her head to stare at the floor.

"Makoto."

He makes out a sound of a… _sniffle_? Then, "I'm sorry."

He cannot decide how he should feel. He wants to be upset; she was his friend and she has lied to him. She broke his heart. But she appears to be hurting, too. He places his hand under her chin to force her to look at him. She fights him, naturally. But ultimately, he wins.

And when he sees the few tears escaping her eyes, he feels a new sensation cut through his very soul.

"I'm so sorry, Ren. I-I…" She struggles to find words, and he releases her, hoping that by doing so, she will feel less apprehensive. She runs a hand across her face, taking a deep breath to reel in her break in composure. "I thought I could go through with it, I really did. But…the truth is…"

He holds his breath, anxiety clawing at his heart like Morgana does to his hand when he fights the desire to go to sleep.

"I really like you, Ren. And I didn't want to keep pretending to be going out for the sake of Eiko and impressing her boyfriend. But I was afraid that if I said something, you wouldn't feel the same. So I thought it was better to go along with our plan, so I could at least still spend time with you. But it became so hard…and I couldn't keep doing it. I kept telling Eiko I was busy so I could have more time to accept it, and then that night in Leblanc where-,"

He wastes no time in throwing his arms around her, effectively cutting off her rapid-fire explanation. He feels as if every ounce of pressure building in the past month lifts off his chest, and he cannot help the gasping laughter that flies out of his lungs as a result.

"You are the smartest, most non-observant, most  _beautiful_  girl I have ever met!"

She says nothing as his hold on her tightens, nor does she make a move to return his embrace. He assumes she is in denial, but after a few seconds, he feels her arms circle around his back and rests her head on his chest.

"Y-you really mean that?"

He lets out another laugh. "God, every single night I cursed myself for being an asshole and not kissing the hell out of you that night. It was the one night that I felt like we weren't pretending." He loves the chance he is having to release his pent-up emotions. "I guess I'm not all that observant either, seeing as how I noticed you so miserable on our dates, but didn't want to think about what it meant." He holds her closer. "So this is my fault, too. But I am so happy to know you feel the same way."

She leans back in his arms to look up at him. There is a genuine smile on her face that he did not know he could miss. He wants to see it every day. "It feels nice to finally tell you this."

He smiles as his hands fall to her lower back. "And you've put me to shame  _twice_. You were the first one to kiss me, and then the first to explain in great detail about how you fell for me! I mean, forget Eiko,  _no one_  will think I'm good boyfriend material now!"

She laughs and places her forehead over his heart. "I guess you'll just have to make it up to me, then."

Without thinking, he releases her to drop to one knee, one hand grasping hers. "My Queen, will you allow this humble, yet inexperienced peasant, to be your boyfriend?"

He glances up at her and relishes in her reaction. She looks away from him, the blush on her face priceless but warming his heart all the same. "It, uh, s-seems like y-your hard work has paid off, Prince Charming."

He stands and beams at her, his previous night's troubles all but a distant memory. "Is this prince worthy of a queen?"

She slides her arms around him again, and it takes everything in him not to melt. "…yes."

He feels his insides melt anyway. "But we should keep practicing. For real, this time."

"Practicing dating?"

One of his hands comes up to cup her face before replying, "No, this," and lightly covers her lips with his. The kiss is quick and simple, as to test the new grounds of their relationship.

She moves her arms to circle his neck. "I guess we  _do_  need practice."

And practice they did.


End file.
